THIS IS: BRIANA’S STORY.

TIB is committed to making the world of beauty a more inclusive, celebrated and empowered one. That’s why we launched THIS IS: This is our moment to share real stories by real people to help us shift our perspective on beauty.

It’s within their stories that magic can happen. Maybe their stories resonate with you, maybe they make you feel seen and heard, or maybe they bring new awareness and thought provoking notions of what the word beauty even means.

After every story we ask ‘ What is your perception of beauty. ’ Keep reading to find out their answer….

If I Knew Then, What I Know Now

There is that saying – Hindsight is 20/20. But my favorite saying about hindsight comes from a film called Life as a House. George, played by Kevin Kline, states,

“Hindsight. It’s like foresight without a future.”

We all wish we knew certain things back when we needed them the most. I know that certainly plays into my own journey of Topical Steroid Withdrawal.

What is TSW?

Besides being known as “Red Skin Syndrome” or “Topical Steroid Addiction”, Topical Steroid Withdrawal (TSW) is an iatrogenic condition that comes on from the over-prescription of topical steroids. Iatrogenic is just a fancy term for “blame your medicine”.

As many in the skin community know, topical steroids are the go-to prescription for everything – red skin, scaly skin, itchy skin, rashy skin. It’s basically stamped into every dermatologist’s prescription pad.

I am highly familiar with this product. Growing up with eczema, I used over the counter cortisone from time to time. At points, I am sure I was prescribed it briefly as well, but never enough for me to remember.

It wasn’t until my early twenties when memory starts to serve – hard. My skin became out of control, most likely from a fungal infection caused by sweaty costumes I had to wear for my performance career. I went to a dermatologist and she, in good intention, threw that precious prescription pad at me. I was on an antibiotic, antifungal, two antihistamines, Protopic, and… a topical steroid.

Over the next three years, give or take, I was on and off this cocktail. Every time I went off, my skin would flare again, only this time, in more places. And more places. And more places.

It became apparent that something was wrong, but we just didn’t know what. But, after a few months of scouring the internet and downing oral steroids, I found the answer I needed – the very drug that was meant to be helping me was the reason I was so ill.

Steroid creams, when used for long periods of time (which is a subjective term), can actually damage the skin and cause internal imbalances. The inflammation it is meant to suppress, it now creates. And when you cease using the drug, your body loses control. I was red from head to toe, lost my hair, my job, my marriage. It hurt to walk and move. It hurt to even smile. There are no words that can describe the misery that is this physically altering condition.

It’s been eight years since I’ve touched a steroid. Eight years of pain, burning skin, flares that send my mind spiraling. It’s a condition I wish on no one (not even my enemy). It’s also something that is completely preventable.

That is why I did something about it. In 2019, I released a documentary highlighting this debilitating condition. It’s called Preventable: Protecting Our Largest Organ.

I’ve also, in my eight years, gathered some wisdom that I’d wish I’d known years before when I hated my body and thought so lowly of myself. Pain is a teacher -- a cruel one -- yet also leaves a gift in its wake.

In that vein, here are seven lessons I have learned from going through Topical Steroid Withdrawal. Perhaps they’ll burn through your darkness where help is needed most.

One, doctors aren't always right.

You desperately wish to sit in a room where a knowledgeable human donning a white coat will be able to give you all the answers, and there is just no such thing. If you are lucky, you will find a doctor who is brave enough to say, out loud, that they don’t have all the answers but will work and fight alongside you. Do not trust in one who is more worried about being the superior in the room than serving you best.

Two, not everyone will understand.

When you are floundering through a difficult time, you are bound to lose people. And that’s okay. Suffering weeds out the people not meant for you. The people who stick around, or are brought into your life, they are the tribe you deserve. Love them fiercely.

Three, it’s great to share your experience.

Spreading awareness about your struggles or your triumphs will always help others. In turn, it also helps you. There is a warmth in knowing that, no matter what it is, there are people out in the world who feel lost and alone and you are the person who allowed them to feel seen. Your voice and vulnerability can make a difference. But…

Four, it’s not okay to belittle people who don’t share your same views.

Last I checked, no one is an expert at this thing called life. We are in this together. If we talk down to one another, especially when we should be each other’s comfort and grace, we lose out on the beauty of life. Empathy is the most attractive quality a human can possess.

Five, give yourself a break.

Being hard on your body for not healing in the way you see fit is a negative space where healing will never occur. Having a skin condition is especially taxing on the mind, despite it being an “aesthetic” issue. Show your body love. Speak to it with kindness. Treat it well with movement, rest, healthy foods, and lots of water. Meditate, journal. Find peace within the chaos you feel, or else it will swallow you whole. Easier said than done, but it’s a practice worth keeping.

Six, listen to your body.

Over the years, I have tried many remedies. From different dietary changes, to Chinese Herbal Medicine, to stem cell therapy, to mindfulness. I kept doing what other people were telling me to try and do, but things just weren’t working. Sometimes, you just have to do what feels best for you. I’ve been grateful for certain emollients when my skin would be extremely dry. I have wrapped my body up after a long dead sea salt soak in order to keep in moisture. I pull out my red light therapy box every morning. I get fresh air and take supplements to help with my gut microbiome. But, right now, I am also on Dupixent (a biologic, FDA approved injection for eczema). It took me ages to say to myself, “I need extra help.” I deprived my body of respite, yet that is what it needed. I never want to be dependent on a pharmaceutical, but it is now giving me the chance to rest, to take care of internal issues, and to be more present with how I speak to myself in order to best preserve my mind whenever a flare decides to return.

And finally, seven, never freaking settle.

You are worth so much more than the reflection in the mirror. No matter what, remind yourself each and every day that your body is not who you are. It is not your identity. Grieve what you need to grieve, but do not for one second settle into the notion that you are not good enough, attractive enough, or well enough for someone to love. I used to obsess over my looks before I knew what actual pain felt like. We think people are picking us apart, but they aren’t. We are such analytical creatures that, most of the time, we are our hardest critic. It’s a battle sometimes to control those thoughts and emotions, but give yourself credit. You have survived 100% of your worst days. That makes you courageous as hell.

I hope one day that Topical Steroid Withdrawal will be a distant memory for us who live it, and a historic event to those who are yet to come. But until then, I will use my voice to spread awareness. I hope you, too, will do the same with what burns in your heart. Because you know now what you wish you knew then -- share it with the world.

And finally. Briana, what is your perception of beauty ?

Beauty is a devotion to ourselves to be the kindest, warmest, and most empathetic beings we can be. It shouldn't rely on our looks, our clothes, or our status, but who we are in this life.

We love this. Thank you Briana.
Follow Briana here on Instagram: @preventable_doc